I’m avoiding work.

My SQL queries are taking too long. I need to rewrite this whole app but I don’t want to. This inventory app was the first thing I ever wrote in PHP / MySQL. Dave helped me considerably. I wrote it without really knowing what I was doing. It works, it’s functioning, but it’s so slow.

Craig got his Red Hat certification last week, company paid for. I want to get certifications too! I just don’t know what.

I took an intro to ColdFusion class and I will be taking the advanced soon, but I’m not sure that’s really worth being “certified” in. Adobe offers certifications, and I would like to eventually try to get into teaching, but I think there are better things out there for me to become certified in.

I guess I want to know more. I want to be an expert at something. I am tired of just knowing enough to get by. I think PHP / MySQL is where I need to start. I need to become skilled at writing classes and utilizing objects.

The problem is I fall asleep just thinking about it! (Ok, so that could have been lunch that’s made me sleepy.)

I think Adobe AIR and Flex would be worth learning. I know Flex instructors can make pretty good money.

Even when it comes to CSS, I know enough to get me by but I’m no expert. Heck, I don’t even know how to write the include statement for a CSS file! I have to look it up every time. I know that’s minor, and there’s no harm in looking it up, but it’s a symptom of a bigger problem. A problem where I don’t know very basic syntax.

I know enough JavaScript to take an existing script and make it do what I want, but I couldn’t write it from scratch. Do you have to declare JavaScript variables and types before you use them (ala VB) or can I just declare them when I use them (ala PHP)? Very basic question. I can look at a script right now and give you the answer, but I don’t KNOW it. I want to know it.

I can figure it all out but I don’t want to figure it out anymore. I want to know it.

I’d like to take some classes. Problem is I don’t have time to go sit in a classroom. I know I am developing bad habits and I’d like to fix them.

I know this turned into one big whine fest. It’s Monday. ;)

So…  I’m annoyed. Jason doesn’t understand / agree with my annoyance so I bring it to you, the masses, for sympathy.

At work today, I had a brief meeting to discuss a software package we are considering purchasing. They ask me the technical level the person who runs it will need to have.

I gave a brief run-down of qualifications. I was then asked to select a specific person out of our employee pool. I did not have a specific person in mind. So our GM tells me to give her my opinion of a few people she names.

So, she throws out a couple of names and I comment either positively or negatively (and why) I think that person could handle the software package. After about four people, she says the name of a person I know but have not yet worked with.

Let me tell you why I have not worked with this guy: I don’t like him. I think he’s a smug jerk. He’s young. Every time I see him I just want to ask him to pull his pants up. (Yes, I’m getting old.) I just don’t like him. No real reason. I’ve never worked with the guy. While I don’t avoid him, I certainly don’t go out of my way to talk to him.

So my response was, “I don’t know him well enough to comment on his level of technical expertise.” Diplomatic.

Then they told me to go meet with Donna. I didn’t immediately recall who Donna was. They clarified who Donna was, I recalled who Donna was, and I happily went on my way.

After about 30 minutes, my boss comes into my office, shuts my door, and tells me he has a problem; that he wants to provide me with some feedback on something he didn’t like. He proceeds to tell me that I need to become more familiar with the people around here. Excuse me? I couldn’t recall ONE PERSON immediately and the other I just haven’t worked with??

He wants me to get out of my office, go into other departments, and HANG OUT! His exact words. “Hang out, see what they do.” I can’t imagine someone enjoying me just hanging out while they are working.

So, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that I got negative feedback on something that, in my opinion, is a small issue. Don’t comment on my familiarity with people here without quizzing me on more than just TWO people! TWO PEOPLE!

I now hate those two people.

Long story short: I’m doing so much better.

Oh, I guess you want a little more of the story eh?

For the past three weeks, I’ve been dealing with a really bad pain in my left thigh. Some nights were excruciating and I was left in tears. Some nights were tolerable. I suspected postherpetic neuralgia (PHN). I called around to find a doctor able to see me and was unsuccessful in making an appt sooner than three weeks away. I finally capitulated and went to urgent care. The doctor there also suspected PHN. He gave me some anti-depressants (a known course of treatment for PHN.)

I finally, on Monday, had my appt with what will now become my primary care physician. At first she did not agree with the urgent care doctor. We talked for about 45 minutes, during which she had me do some physical demonstrations to prove it did not hurt to move (to rule out muscular or spinal problems). As asked, I touched my toes, walked on my heels, walked on my tip toes, and moved my arms as she asked. After this she too said it sounded like PHN; that the symptoms fit. She also commented that she has never seen an episode of PHN onset after such a long time after shingles have healed.

She changed my meds to Neurontin. It does help me considerable. I actually have pain free moments. However, today has been tough. I think it’s related to my level of stress, which was pretty high today. I forgot to take them when I was supposed to earlier, so I’m about to take them again. Hopefully they don’t leave me too sleepy in the morning to function.

So there you have it… and like I said: I’m doing so much better.

P.S. Thanks, Jason for putting up with me during this time. You have been wonderful and supportive and kind. I’m not sure what I would have done without you the past few weeks - not just to help with day to day stuff but for the emotional support. This has really taken a toll on me emotionally and there were days I was terribly depressed, and sick and tired of the pain. You listened to me whine and not once did I notice you watching TV while I was crying on your shoulder. ;)

Today I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR. They were discussing six-word memoirs. I don’t often ask for feedback from my reader… I mean readers, but I’m curious to hear your own six-word memoir. I’ll post mine soon. I haven’t had time to consider it. So let’s hear it! Sum your life up in six words.

And if you don’t… some horrible tragedy will befall you! Or not. I’ve always hated chain letters. Speaking of which, I remember when chain letters were actually letters! Odd little memory I just had there.

Ok, back to the topic… six-word memoirs!

Hello old friend. I don’t come around here too often. When you stop visiting places you once frequented, you find the faces change and soon no one recognizes you anymore.

No one recognizes you anymore.

I’ve been sick the past week or more. I feel like I’ve been sick for months now. I finally went to an urgent care clinic just to make sure I wasn’t dying. My blood pressure was quite high. I’m right on the edge of Stage 2 hypertension. Of course, it could all be caused by over the counter medications, so I was instructed to stop taking them.

However, it still scares me. I’ve never had health problems - not serious ones - not even potentially serious ones. So, while it coincides with the New Year, I wouldn’t call it a resolution, but rather a commitment. I know it seems a fine hair to split, but I’m resolute that it is not a resolution! It has nothing to do with the New Year. It has everything to do with my health.

I’ve tried in the past to adhere to the tenants of good health (eat better and exercise) but I did so for vanity reasons. It’s very easy to shrug off vanity in lieu of convenience, but when that convenience starts to interfere with my health, I need to re-evaluate my priorities. It’s not going to be easy.

This weekend I intend to get some Christmas shopping out of the way. Unfortunately, I’m just not in the mood. As most of you are aware, I typically don’t buy gifts for anyone because up until this year I’ve always been broke. Not just broke, but really broke. This year, I’m working full time and really have no excuse not to at least pick up small tokens for those I love. The two of you.

There’s not much else going on. I’m still looking for our own place. I got brave and posted on Craig’s List. I got an offer to rent two bedrooms in this guy’s house but… I don’t know. With my issues, it would be terribly uncomfortable for me to live with a stranger. I have a hard enough time living in close quarters with people I know.

In plug-related news, I’ve found Amie Street. It is a music download / sharing site. The premise is interesting and I encourage you to take a look at it. If you do want to join (it’s free), let me know! I get credit for “recruiting” people. I just didn’t want to spam out invites. So, you’re welcome. A quick run down: a song is uploaded, it starts out free. The more people who download it, the higher the price will rise (but never to exceed $0.99). If you write a recommendation for the song (while it is free), and the price rises, you receive credit that enables you to purchase other songs. I have yet to try and take advantage of it, but I did get a free album (The Bird of Music by Au Revoir Simone) for signing up. It’s not really my taste, but I can hear the appeal.